Letter from LDL Cholesterol: "They’re Slandering Me":
They are slandering me endlessly. I’ve been banished from the dinner table with no one to defend me. I did good to everyone all these years, but they pay me back with bad. They call my brother, HDL, “the good cholesterol”, while they call me “the bad cholesterol”. All in all, we are both porters – I carry out and he carries back. I’m fat and he’s thin. Him, they encourage, and me they try to suppress – all “for health”. As usual, the world discriminates against the overweight.
I remember the day it began. During my travel through the pipe, as I carried my load, suddenly I thought saw a tiny crack in the wall of the pipe. Exactly at that point, I was spun in a whirlpool of flowing liquid, and I was unable to get a good enough look to determine whether the wall was truly in danger. However, I took note of this, and during my next pass through that area, with determination I grabbed hold of the wall, and saw that not only was there a crack, but that it was slowly widening. Terror overcame me as I realized what could happen if the crack broke through the wall. I had a flash of inspiration. I remembered that in my backpack I was carrying cholesterol. Even though my duty was to carry it to all the many places that needed it as a raw material, I understood that if the pipe would break, the whole business would fall apart. Need is the mother of invention. I realized that cholesterol is sticky, so I shoved it between the lips of the crack, and it stuck well.
That’s it. Through the years I followed what was going on in the area of the whirlpool, and saw that I truly had saved the pipe from destruction through my cholesterol patch. However, the problem was not completely solved. The crack was still trying to open, and many other cracks were beginning. I understood that my work was fixing only the cracks, but not their cause – apparantly some fundamental weakness in the pipe itself. I reported on this to my superiors, and they sent others like me to help carry cholesterol and other fats to use as patching material in the endangered area. This went on for tens of years. Bandage on bandage we patched the area, until we understood that our work itself, the piles of cholesterol and fats we were creating to save the pipeline, would eventually build up and block the flow. Truly, the end would be sad, but there was nothing we could do about it. Until someone finds a solution for the weakness in the pipe, we will continue to do our duty. Extending the life of the pipe for decades is worth every effort we make. Perhaps more or better reinforcement rods could be put into the pipe.
Those of narrow vision, who saw the cholesterol and fats building up in the pipe, say that I am guilty, “the evil one”. I say that if a child sees firemen on the scene of a fire, he may think that they are the ones who lit the fire. I gained some wisdom through this whole thing: One must continue to do his work and to know that the most important thing is what is between himself and God.
If you are worried about heart disease, please contact me. I can help you.
